Alanna and the Hellish Dreams
by Seadragon
Summary: Chickens and Chipmunks, Ladies and Meatheads, Oh yes, and an oh so highly amused king! [A strange ficlet] [Complete]


Title: Alanna and the Hellish Dreams  
  
Genre: Humor  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Chickens and Chipmunks, Ladies and Meatheads, Oh yes, and an oh so highly amused king!  
  
Author: Seadragon  
  
---  
  
Something wasn't right here...  
  
Her first clue was Dom helping Neal up, with a straight face, after he had fallen bottom first into the mud. Kel, wearing a long pink dress, with lots of ruffles and lace, that bounced as she ran, and lots of red rubies dangling from various parts of her body, whimpering like a delicate court lady, ran to Buri, who comforted her, wearing a tight, revealing blue dress, if you could call it that, hair up and pinned in place, while begging Raoul to keep the sharp pointy metal things away. Raoul, donned in shiny, fancy clothes, dripping in gold, was whining about how they were going to be late for the party the Palace was hosting. Jon was telling Raoul to hush up and be concerned with more important things for once, like defending the realm, while he stood knee deep in the mud, laughing like a maniac. George was sitting stiffly on his horse, looking down on them all with scorn, dressed in fancy, elegant, frippery clothes while Gary told anyone who was listening that he was tired of boring politics and was running off to live with the squirrels and chipmunks. Daine was watching the horses nervously, and flinching when the mare beneath her snorted, while Owen sat very, very still on his horse, a depressed look on his face, while Joren...  
  
Wait, wasn't he supposed to be dead?  
  
No matter, Joren was trying to cheer Owen up, with, with, finger puppets. Colorful, cheerful finger puppets. There was a chef, plump and round, wearing a white jacket and pants, a white chef's hat, and a red kerchief, a lady dressed in very expensive and fancy clothes all in a shocking orange color, a stable boy, dressed in brown rags and a rag of a cap, a prince, complete with a little golden crown, and a soldier, carrying a teeny, tiny sword and an axe, with a feather covered tunic. Apparently the little play was about a chef who lost the chicken meant for dinner, which had hidden in the lady's room, until the stable boy, coming to deliver a message from the prince, discovered it. He ran away, terrified and got the soldier, who...  
  
Alanna blinked.  
  
This was strange.  
  
No, something really wasn't right. Had they all been given some sort of potion? But that couldn't be right, she was acting normal. Wasn't she?  
  
Alanna looked down.  
  
And screamed...  
  
- - -  
  
"Lass?" A voice said softly.  
  
Alanna opened one eye, and shut it with relief. Just a dream. Thank the gods. All the gods. That was when she opened both her eyes. She stood up and turned to looked next to her. She took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose. This was not happening. It was a hallucination. A frightening, cruel, twisted hallucination, but a hallucination none the less. It had to be.  
  
George the chicken looked at her curiously.  
  
"What's wrong? You look like some shoved one of Maude's potions down your throat!" He shuddered. "We all know those aren't the most pleasant drinks around."  
  
"Mother?"  
  
Alanna was afraid to look behind her.  
  
"Dad, what's wrong with Ma?" A high squeaky voice asked from behind her.  
  
"Yes Da, what's wrong with her?"  
  
Alanna turned around, and took several more deep breaths. Peering curiously at her were two chipmunks, one with a mop of shocking red/gold hair to match her own, the other with deep sapphire locks that fell to his, her, its, shoulders.  
  
"Aly? Alan?"  
  
"'Course Ma, who were you expecting?" Aly the blue haired chipmunk said slowly, as though she were simple.  
  
"Hey! A party! What have I missed?"  
  
Alanna's eye twitched.  
  
Thom the rabbit came bounding in, ears twitching on either side of his own mess of red hair. He stood up on his hind legs next to his younger brother and sister, and stared with curiosity at his mother, who looked like someone had told her the world was going to break into tiny little pieces and used as spices for a giant's lunch.  
  
Alanna looked up at the heavens. "Why me?" She muttered, and fainted dead away.  
  
- - -  
  
"Um, Lady Alanna?"  
  
Alanna sat bolt upright and drew her sword, "Get away you demons!"  
  
There was silence at the long table and Alanna looked around.  
  
"Right..." She said slowly, and slid Lightening back into its sheath.  
  
"Alanna? Do you care to tell us why you fell asleep during a meeting, an important meeting? And why you yelled 'the chickens are coming! The chickens are coming!' along with various other curious, and extremely entertaining, things, such as 'Jon, you stupid, pathetic, mama's boy's excuse for a king, get out of the damn mud and help for a change!'?"  
  
Alanna winced.  
  
"Er, oops?"  
  
---  
  
Well, I enjoyed writing that. A nice break from all the sad, depressing stuff I love (. Oh well, diversity is good. Just a note to anyone who cares... The next chapter of Tortallan Truth or Dare, AS WELL AS, the next chapter of Trojan, will soon be up! Be happy!  
  
Oh yes, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!  
  
- Seadragon 


End file.
